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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Emily and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

So, Alexander's day I believe started off something like this:
- "I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there's gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day."

Mine was just a little more like:
- "I got ready for work and was looking real cute, then walked into the laundry room to put the clothes in the dryer and the floor was flooded, so I took the NEWLY CLEANED TOWELS out of the DRYER and put them in the STUPID floor to dry up the water from where the washer had overflowed, and then I worried that the house would burn down from a short in the wire/water on the electric cord on the dryer and so I cleaned it all up and made 20 trips outside with all the soaking wet towels and got water all over ME and the kitchen floor and then I took the dogs outside to potty and locked myself and the dogs outside; my phone was inside with
my keys and my dignity as I spent the next 20 minutes trying to weigh which I would rather do: wake a neighbor to use their phone or bust out the back door to get back into the house and then pay for it later? I tried to wave down Hector (across the street neighbor) as he left and he just waved "Hi!" And drove off so then I tried to escape the back yard to no avail as I am
apparently not
strong enough to get the best of our ghetto gates- which are made of screwed on plywood and I
eventually got one broken so I could escape and went to our neighbor Miller's house, called my mom who was busy and doesn't have a key so I called D and he didn't answ
er and I left him a message but didn't know if he would ever listen to it before his lunch break and so I got myself back in the back yard and prepared myself and the dogs to bake to death in the boiling hot sun and so I sat down on a lawn chair and THEN noticed the pervert 12 year old next door (above the garage) had his
binoculars out trying to get a good upskirt shot so I walked over towards that side of the yard and flipped him off and then turned my chair around and then I could tell that it was going to be a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day."

D showed up 15-20 min later, walked outside, and almost laughed, then I just looked at him and said, "I've had a bad day already." (I may have started crying at this point and the next words MIGHT have been unidentifiable, but at this point, he was hugging me and I was just mumbling/crying into his clean work shirt... with my nasty sweaty nasty nasty self)

This was 8:20.

My hair was SO pretty this morning, too. But at this point, it looked as though I had sat in a sauna for 5 hours, since I had been outside in the morning heat for about 1 hour and 13 min by normal people standards; by my standards: 8 FREAKIN HOURS and 79 MINUTES!

So, I RE-got ready for work, left, and half way there, my oil light came on.

I almost turned around and came home.

But I stuck it out, it was ok the rest of the day, got home super tired, was almost finished making dinner when D got home and he had a DOZEN ROSES in his hands! :-)
What a sweeeeet peeea!
That's them up top :)

So, now we've finished dinner, I'm stuffed to the gills, and thinking of doing some jumping jacks so I can make some room for some ice cream... lol


  1. Oh honey!!! Besides the fact that you had an aweful day, I couldn't help but laugh as I read this wonderfully written blog. :) I was imagining all this as I'm reading and found myself laughing. I love you

  2. you found a good one, Emily!! what a sweet husband!! he seems very in tune with your needs and feelings...seriously!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!

    also, hang in there! it could have been worse, it could have rained and then been so humid that you couldnt breathe!!

  3. Really, all the crap kinda stops mattering when you come home to someone who adores you, huh? ;) That story was a WAY Emily story, btw!

  4. hahaha, it was terrible at the time, but the more times I told the story of why I was 2 hours late to work, the funnier it got... which is why I decided to put it on here this way. PS, I hope you read it the way I would have said it- which of course was in about 3 breaths. Hence the lack of punctuation. Lack of punctuation also was to go along with the way the book was written, of course. :)
    @Kate- it was so humid, I was soaking wet head to toe, and was dry when I walked outside. haha

  5. @Amber- I heard several times throughout the day that apparently this sort of this could "only happen to" me.
    Why could this only happen to me? Because I'm paranoid and my hand naturally locks doors behind me, and my paranoia makes it impossible for us to have a hide-a-key because I just KNOW someone would find it and sneak in while I was in the shower and rob us, but get out before I got out of the shower??? hahaha I just don't understand!